Realizing and controlling the unconventional pairing featured by topological superconductors remains a central challenge. We introduce a cavity QED quantum simulator that engineers competing chiral pₓ+ip_y and d_(x²-y²)+id_xy orders by tailoring cavity-mediated couplings between atomic pseudospins that emulate momentum-dependent pairing channels. The desired spatially inhomogeneous cavity-mediated couplings can be engineered in a 2D optical lattice using incommensurate cavity-lattice wavelengths naturally occurring in cavity QED systems. This minimal and fully tunable platform enables controlled state preparation and continuous measurement of superconducting order parameters. To probe this competition, the platform enables selective excitation and direct time-domain detection of Bardasis-Schrieffer modes—collective excitations of the subdominant pairing channel. The same competing channel can have an even stronger impact out of equilibrium, where a sudden quench can drive its growth and abruptly reshape the dominant superconducting order, despite the stability of the dominant order in equilibrium. Together, these results establish cavity QED as a controlled setting for revealing hidden competing orders and exploring nonlinear dynamics of topological superconductivity that remain elusive in solid-state and ultracold-atom systems.